The Kingsville Guide to Selecting Bars, Pubs,
Saloons, & Taverns.
RULE #1
Never patronize any establishment that has a singular-plural-possessive name. (i.e. Chaps, Christopher’s, Connections, Maxwell’s, Partners, Mingles, Moby’s, Gator’s, etc.)

RULE #2
Never patronize any establishment that has a two-word name that starts with "The". (i.e. The Cave, The Spot, The Crease...)

RULE #3
Never patronize any establishment that refers to itself as a club (unless stripping is featured) or as a Road house (unless located in the Gulf states area.)

RULE #4
Never patronize any establishment that charges a cover and features a disc jockey whose name includes "DJ".

RULE #5
Never patronize any establishment that has a Karaoke night. Friends don’t let friends Karaoke.		  
RULE #6
Never patronize any establishment that has a waiting line and fashion inspection.

RULE #7
Never patronize any establishment that you can feel tremors from the sound system several blocks away.

RULE #8
Never patronize any establishment that features live music by local bands with paradoxical or eclectic names.

RULE #9
Never patronize any establishment that advertises on or participates in on-air promotions with radio stations that you would only listen to if you were in someone else’s car.

RULE #10
Never patronize any establishment that openly supports out of town sports franchises.

RULE #11
Never patronize any establishment that requires you wear a tie.

RULE #12 - THE GOLDEN RULE
Never patronize any establishment that violates any the above guidelines. Exceptions can be made if you know the establishment only violates the letter (not the spirit) of the rule, or you are guaranteed to get lucky like a big dog.

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